You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
