My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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