Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
