I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
