party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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