omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
