spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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