I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
