i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
