cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
