just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
