More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
