Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
