I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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