try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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