Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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