Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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