The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
