oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
