I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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