Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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