my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
