We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
