He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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