even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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