How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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