when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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