The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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