NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
