Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
