It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
