I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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