I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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