so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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