Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
