She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hippo gnu deer
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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