I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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