3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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