DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
