Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
