It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
3pm strippers are depressing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
