What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
