Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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