apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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