theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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