Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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