Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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