Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
