nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
