Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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