your room smells of hookers.
And success
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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