I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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