What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
