Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
