return my video game
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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