finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
