she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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