just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
