I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
