i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
