I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
