So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
