I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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