I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
