There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just invented taco cereal.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
