Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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